The neighbors move
Ever since I was young, I’ve thought I was able to feel God’s presence
His voice in my ear like the wind whispers
His smile shining on me like sun rays on a July day
His teachings poured through my mind like a stream falls over the rocks in its path
I had it good
Until I found this part of me
My queerness
That’s when the wind halted
The sun fell from the sky
The water disappeared
Everything I stood for
Everything I knew
Everything I believed
It all crumbled in my hands, turned to dust
It felt like the end of the world
And to some extent, it was
The end of a world that could be viewed in black and white
But I found answers in myself
It felt like I was alone
And to some extent, I was
Alone with my thoughts, without support that I so desperately wanted
But I found support in myself
It felt like I would never recover
And to some extent, I didn’t
Forever scarred by the pain the church caused
But I found peace in myself
I’ve learned to live in the grey mess of life
Life is not black or white, right or wrong, good or evil, it’s made of both
I’ve learned that family can be chosen
Family is not only through blood and marriage, it can be so much more
I’ve learned to trust myself
People are not perfect, so why do I expect myself to be?
Losing God was the best thing that could’ve ever happen to me
Because I found so much more
I found my family
I found belonging
I found my voice
I found solace
I found my soulmate
I found truth
I found my opinions
I found love
And I found myself
“You’re going out in that?!?”,
Said with incredulity and scorn.
“You are not leaving my house
Dressed like that!”,
Stated definitively.
Creating the
Lifelong battle of
Appropriate Attire.
Decades of struggle
To find just the
Right outfit
To convey
An attitude and
A lifestyle
That makes
Those around you
Comfortable.
Rarely are you,
Yourself,
Comfortable.
The dress is
Too tight, or too big.
Your foundation garments
Hide your tummy bulge
But constrict your breathing,
Or shift as you walk.
The shoes that you
Only wear
For special occasions
Pinch your toes and/or
Blister your heel,
And cause pain in
The ball of your foot
From shifting all
Your weight forward.
Sometimes, though,
You get it all right.
The right dress/skirt/top/pants.
The right shoes/stockings/tights/socks.
The right jacket/sweater/coverup.
The right purse/bag/clutch.
The right hairstyle.
The right makeup/no makeup.
And you feel
Comfortable
In your outfit,
In the group,
And, best of all,
In your skin.
And we abandon compunction,
In the beginnings of love
concepts of marriage
together forever
are a romantical endeavor
You think it’ll be all kisses
anniversaries he never misses
roses on Valentine’s Day
and he always knows what to say
But in the long run
it isn’t all kisses
there are events he misses
and not every word glistens
He still loves though
in his own little ways
things people barely see
but mean everything to me
He’ll take out the trash
without me needing to ask
he listens to my rants
buys me trinkets if he has the chance
He respects my identity
encourages what brings me serenity
is honest, doesn’t like to lie
embraces me, when all I can do is cry
And even when he does nothing
there are things I still adore
the giddy look he gets at the game store
and the sound of his snores
Life long love
not a series of romantic gestures
but noticing the little things
that’s what brings us closer together
Blissful morning
Usurped by
Live news coverage of
Loss of life in
Explosive
Torrent of gunfire and shattered glass
People hiding in vault while friends
Riven by AR-15
Officer freshly minted returning fire
On livestream
Failure of systems?
For now, there are love songs
to be read in a whisper,alone,
written in the times before
he heard her name, her voice.
Knowing they don’t belong to him,
even as the wildest of prophecies,
makes them somehow more potent,
defining her as well as a cup of coffee.
Two incarnations from now,
if they haven’t found themselves
standing in the same place and time,
perhaps he’ll consider forgetting her.
‘lina days and
lone star nights
blunt pops of plastic against paddle,
oohs of amazement, and shrieks of awe:
these sounds from the other room
replenish our spirit like
chlorophyll in the afternoon
shockwaves launched, back and forth,
from the tiny orange sun,
across decades and statelines,
wrinkles of time
in a dynamic quiltwork
wrap a new generation in the fold.
life is simple
when it’s filled with love and laughs;
like ducklings in a line,
we move as a unit
from stone mountain to shaker heights
and back;
we’re proud of you, as your fluffy feathers
change into a full-grown crown;
you’ve imprinted on your hometown,
now, leave your mark on the world.
when people believe in you,
like we have and always will,
you can do miraculous things
just like you’ve done, and will continue to do
stay fast and stay curious,
as you surge toward your future;
arms outstretched, we’re waiting
and cheering here for you,
fear not this new stage of
your new world—
you’ve got this!
make your choices, and don’t look back—
these ducklings, we’ve got your back.
look around you,
and you will see
your ride or dies here for you;
your friends and family
blended together,
strong steel makes reliable guardrails.
enjoy this smudge where green meets blue,
cousins, family, no times removed.
we’re all here to celebrate you.
as sure as big D stands for Dom Toretto,
the most important thing in life
is the people in this room
(we love you)
