Posts for June 28, 2023

Climbing from the shadows 
Returning from ashes
Lacing up my bootstraps 
Hoisting myself from the saying 
“If rock-bottom had a basement ” 
I should have a tshirt printed by now 
I’ve been there before 
So many times over
One thing’s for sure 
Failure isn’t an option that lives here anymore 
And gambling and coin tossed losses 
Have all but worn out their welcome here
I’m getting older and growing tired. 
My body and spirit are ready for a change 
Vibrations from the earth feel unsteady 
Or maybe it’s just me 
Either way I need to just lay down for while
Let tomorrow’s be, come what may
Maybe with my forties coming 
I’ll just hope to catch a nap
On a Sunday afternoon 
Under a tree or on a couch
While the sun warms my skin

Either way, I wholeheartedly hope 
Tomorrow brings you, we, and us.

If I’d spent time outside today, 

When the fireflies are streaming from the mirey lawns
Like air bubbles from a kettle
That’s when we know summer’s arrived
With a sputtering train whistle’s
Barking whimper
A panther Goddess stalking
The white hot street
All while the shade and breeze
Are giving me goosebumps

how can my world coalesce
when pages remain hidden
unmoved by a thought-breeze
heavy laden with promise and fear

an up beat goat song
sung into the universe
welcome home, new one

Today the smoke is so thick oh god if you tilt your head just right you can trace the paths we’ve walked for us it’s five years of perfect circles the only action inaction we drew our curtains in permanent ink cursed the sun found no solace in silence but embraced it anyway sing of Centralia sing of the fire that never dies out sing of our arsonist his name romanticized and demonized in the same breath how the spark of a single match sets so many lives ablaze every morning now tastes of sulfur call him the Midas of Ashes remember him as Moloch I still lack the strength to forgive if I tell you my greatest fear is emptiness please don’t tell me that tomorrow too will be razed an eternity of cinders I’ve heard that a body sufficiently deprived of sustenance begins to feed on itself I wonder if there is similar process within the mind an ouroboros of thought all teeth and tongues of flame on days like today I am scorched earth footsteps in footsteps memory made solid something like sentience scattered and smouldering

I’m surprised to see the dying oak spout
green leaves–a full crown of new growth. 

When they cut its branches–when they stacked
limb on limb down by the dumpster,
we thought it was a done thing. This culling
must have helped. From this, I have learned that
sometimes it’s prudent to prune away, to sheer
back, to defenestrate. Maybe there’s a chance–
but I have never been good at such economies.

At day’s end, I pile self onto self like pyre,
our own little mountain in the city’s middle.
Night falls–its promise, tomorrow’s new day.

Time is bearing down on me
Like the crack of a tree limb
before it breaks
My thoughts jitter.
I scrape the recesses of my brain.
I find nothing but songs about time
echoing in my head
I put my pen to the page
And write,
Sliding home just in time.

It starts with a stretch in bed
one leg up and another down
point the toe
stretch the heel
ten times each
circle the ankle one way
and then the other way
loosen up those hips
one leg crossed in front 
of one leg bent
both pushing the other
in opposite directions

bend over one bent leg
as the other stretches behind
sit up in this position
stand up, bend over a
supported outstretched leg
now do the other

bike up 5 steep hills
ride 4 miles to work
swim 20 minutes freestyle
10 minutes back strokes
lift weights on 6 machines
Melt on the floor 45 minutes
Roll up from lying flat on floor
front plank, side plank,
squat, push-up, clam shell,
down dog ride 4 miles home

Fear is a 
Jackrabbit
Back feet beating frantically
Thump thump
In stomach
Chest
Hands
Until all you can do is shake