Posts for June 8, 2026 (page 16)

I’m not jealous of her,

I’m jealous that she was able to experience you before I did.

I’m not jealous of her,

I’m jealous that you thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world once.

I’m not jealous of her,

I’m jealous she got to hold your hand, hear your heartbeat, inhale your scent, breathe your air, all before I did.

I’m jealous that your souls intertwined before ours. I’m jealous that your future with her was planned before ours.

I’m not jealous of her.

          tenor sings at dusk
top of weathervane glints red
               cardinal solo

eight years my face stolen
by knife and gouge the roman hand
   of nails gladius
i tongueless tasteless sightless shuttle food from one formless space to another
for ears my only sustenance:
   a mother and a daughter
   and their godly hope
   of a boy who bears his bondage more
   beautifully than i
so what i struggle an ugly penalty to the ground below Jerusalem
and no tender sunrays
glisten to brighten my labor
ever
over the countless nameless numberless days
so what i say unsaid
   just teeth and throat less eloquent than the man
   who writes my soul

now if the narrative looses me onto the hot loud world
let God throw me back to the hunch in this cell
let God make me half the shadow of that boy
let God put palm to leper’s cheek
and me like shrieking leopards speak
   in words beyond my mouth

This was not my dream job-
pricing cinder blocks daily.
.025, .0315, .0426 x 500,1200
or 825 for 8 hours cramped
in a tiny trailer with 3 others.

Renee, busty, baudy, and loud 
in accounts receivable an expert
at deception supposedly
working thru lunch had me
bring her take-out while making
personal calls never arriving late
as I got nixed for getting stuck
in traffic.  

Then there was old man Bob with
wrinkled jowls slick gray hair  
the sleazy salesman eyeing  my fresh
from college body with Xray vision
blocking the doorway
making me squeeze past
his protruding belly telling crude
jokes with that guttural laugh.

Virginia, the boss lady dressed
in her proper gray below the knee
suits with eagle eyes
watching the minute hand of the clock
for tardiness and rule infringement
making            My life
under the scope miserable.

After six months of this I flew the coop.
Went to lunch never looked back.

Hope springs eternal,
for that box of evils is
reopened each day
by those who do know better
but are simply uncaring.

How old is time today?
Or the clock that set me to grunt and moan?
Or how about an illustration of what 
distracted me from God

in my youth?  
                                A thin strand connected
to a kite flown by a freak,
so unsettled,
the poor dog couldn’t bury a bone.  Or find home.

It isn’t everyday we see apple leaves in a supermarket, 
is it? What we experience small is significant, 
and as they say—there are no big deals—
and it’s a curse to be fortunate. 

This is why I light candles for you. Only your face and eyes 
most black, are what I want most by my lonesome.

The train slices twilight, flying on steel ribbons, breathes black breath of iron.