I had a good day today

It was nice, peaceful even

But ignorance can only last so long

I realize what day it is

I feel my pulse quicken

I feel my throat tighten

I feel the edges of my vision start to get blurry

I drive with the windows down, playing music, dissociating

I’m fucking frustrated

It’s like I finally reach safety, gasping for air and another reminder of you pulls me back under

Like you were a bomb, exploded and left me with fragments of shrapnel imbedded beneath my skin

Your memory chiseled into my being

Your words resurfacing in my mind

All because of what you did to me

All because I will never be the same

All because of today

-happy birthday, asshole