Today was meant to be a sonnet        
                                                “More Like the Butler than the Baker”   
                                                          Lincoln Oliphant  

Planning to an excess            
            I schedule paratransit rides days in advance            
            know exactly where accessible restrooms lie            
            expect a friend to arrive on time
                    “If you say noon, let it be noon. 
                    “No, I’m not impatient,
                    “lateness is rude.”  
                    (Do I blame my brain or my military officer dad? Both?)
         check MyChart daily so no appointment is missed
guides required in this fractured life.  

Dyscalculia, dysgraphia, “She doesn’t pay attention.”
        No one knew about “masking,”
        but that’s where my attention lay.
        Pretending “normalcy” requires attention.
        Make up your mind: I can pay attention in class,
        or I can try to appear “normal.” 
        There has never been enough of me to do both. 
     
Unless with horses or dogs,
my brain communicates confusion
misunderstandings prevail –            
        “I heard what you said.”/”That’s not what I meant.”            
        leave me as frustrated as they do others.  
        Why is my world so literal?
        Absurdism and hyperbole weave through my writing;
        few comprehend, others are offended. 

Monkey wrenches tossed into an agenda
put this brain in freeze frame.
Adjusting to complications comes hard –            
           a fraudulent debit card charge and an ableist credit union
           a cancelled ride to Aldi
            storm induced power outage
            my printer died
            pharmacy sent the wrong test strips
            “Yes, I sent my financial documents; you lost them.” 
            CRPS in my left leg and now the left side of my head?
                        days and days in a dark bedroom
                        a hat and sunglasses to walk the dogs
                        Ubrelvy did nothing; this isn’t a migraine           
            the anger of my irritable bowel.