I admire the twinkle of laughter in your squinted eyes.
Your hands squeeze your ankles while you sit on the floor, copying my nervous behavior.
Your face is so close to mine.
Your fingers brush the back of my shirt.
I turn away quickly, my cheeks pink.
I’m not ready.
I desperately want a connection,
I want relief,
I want you –
so much that I can’t trust myself to indulge.
The most debilitating symptom of BPD
is being a hopeless romantic with chronic emptiness.