American Sentence LXXXVIII
Woman gags on tang of soot and burnt steam laced with coal-dusted coffee.
28 thoughts on "American Sentence LXXXVIII"
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Woman gags on tang of soot and burnt steam laced with coal-dusted coffee.
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Oh ! That works !! Nice ❤️
Thanks, Coleman!
Trying to show the interior of the train through the people on the train.
This one is painted particularly well.
🙂
It is really telling that the taste of the coffee itself is the aftermath, here. Definitely brings to mind trains of old, the way they looked and felt.
Glad to hear!
Well done Pam- coal dusted coffee.
Thanks, Linda!
The mine doesn’t stay at the mine. It seeps into the home, the body, and the daily rituals. So much packed into this one line, well done!
Amen to your words, Jeremy!
Thank you!
Oh, that coal dusted coffee is such a brilliant image! Love this, Pam!
🙂
Awesome. Makes me realize how harsh a word “gags” is.
Yep!
Love the dusted coffee.
🙂
Like the sounds, smells and sights in this one – really brings us into the train car.
Glad to hear you see and hear the interior!
Chugging right along! Good work.
🚂
That’s a bitter gulp!
yep!
So much sensory detail packed in this sentence. Feel like I’m covered with fine coal dust
Encouraging to hear. I’m trying to show the train and folks on the train in 17 syllables.
Nice! ☕️
Thank you! ☕
I like “Woman” as the subject without an article— the, a. It universalizes her
Thank you, River!