Becoming the Daughter
Your father was captain of the drink
A sinking ship in a whiskey sea
He once tried teaching you to drive
Showed up with a flask and a pillow
The liquor gone before you left the driveway
He passed out on the pillow
You drove carefully around the block
Then left him snoring in the car
Someone drew soap faces on his window
He was your Halloween all year round
Your mother tunneled a cave so deep
You never saw her except
When the moon hunted her down
At times she looked like root
Or maybe granite
Sometimes she crept out
To watch Queen for a Day
Seeing herself in that robe and tears
A garbage disposal or new vacuum
Her just reward
Step softly now through days
That teeter the fluid and the frozen
The hand that lusts danger
The heart that envies stone
13 thoughts on "Becoming the Daughter"
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Wow! Your poem about such difficult memories still manages to be so beautiful. I love this so much.
Awfully fine poem, Sylvia. Echoing Lubrina: a stunning mix of pain and beauty. You’re an alchemist.
That balance you strike at the end is breath-taking. Wonderful poem, so many rich details.
whoa, this is so powerful! magnificent.
This piece is so carefully phrased and the last two stanzas really clinch that direction back to the reader
Agree with above comments, so skillfully done!
Excellent poem. Each stanza has impact.
Masterful couplets, Sylvia. I especially like the choice of garbage disposal and vacuum cleaner – each used to get rid of unwanted/useless stuff.
I really like the line “He was you Halloween all year round”. So much in that one statement. And the mundanity shown in in the line about the new garbage disposal and Vaccum. It’s a beautiful poem about an earful hell. Thank you for sharing
so good
the second person pov
provides some distance
for the narrator’
and makes the impact
more powerful
final 2 couplets
are killers
So beautiful. I love “Step softly now through days / That teeter the fluid and the frozen
“Your mother tunneled a cave so deep/You never saw her except/ When the moon hunted her down”
Ah, I know that feeling so well ♥
And those first two lines! They set the tone so intensely.
The turn to your mother really shifts the tone from tragi-comic to tragic. I appreciate how lyrical this poem becomes as it moves deeper into the emotional fallout.