My eyes flutter open.  I sit up with a gasp!  It’s beautiful!  The light yellow tinted room is everything I’ve always wanted.  A retreat.  An oasis. 

Big brass bed.  Antique, of course.  The quilt, obviously hand sewn.  Heavy and comforting.  The room is bright.  Two windows.  I can see the tree outside, big green leaves.   A book on the nightstand, long bookmark tucked inside.  A rocking chair nestled into the corner of the room.  Worn lap blanket tossed over the back.  Tall, clear vase of daisies on the dresser smiling back at me.  

I swing my legs to the side of the bed.  Feet dropping to feel the deep pile in the throw rug below.  Hardwood floors cool under my feet as I make my way to the window.  I want to throw the panes open and feel the breeze in my hair. It is then that I realize, this is no ordinary window.  Just a painting, there on the sunshine colored wall.  Both windows merely a vision of what could be. 

I make my way to the door.  Pull hard on the large, iron doorknob.  Locked.  I pull, I tug, I rattle the knob.  I yell,  hello, hello, hello.  The air responds with a quiet rush of fear.  

This is not my sanctuary.  I am trapped in a mirage of my nirvana.  This is someone else’s dreamscape.  Someone else’s promised land.   

I am merely a bird in a beautiful cage.  Waiting for the door to open.  Wondering, how the hell did I get here.