what if i told you 
that long after your phases 
of fire and water end
after two summers spent 
writing them into poetry 
your lungs would un-freeze
and lift again in breath?

they say doing what was long
overdue is a weight
lifted off of you, but no,
you are the one lifted off the weight
of yourself from when you tied yourself down
roped in with the stockholm syndrome forgetting
when you lost yourself and found
something else.

i say you as inthe second person
you, entity separate
from the first person
singular me not we
but as in myself paused
at this moment in time and i
am no longer the same me i once was,
keep that one to yourself. 

only you would understand so completely,
forgive me for the dissociation.
i promise i haven’t forgotten

i would tell you what change is
what it is like to see a star die and resurrect
as you watch in time-lapse,
captivated for months
but you’d already know.

just like you’d understand
just like you’d forgive me now
as patiently i let go of you,
girl i was going on seventeen,
and let you fall as a sacrifice
to the sea that carried you away
and revealed me washed ashore,
breathing out your drowned lungs.