I clamber from bed each morning
and gasp
to put weight on my left leg,
the right not much better.
Friction, gravity, and a tragic toss
of my dice leaves me limping. 

Cast back to my foremothers —
how did they navigate when old limbs failed?
Did they still knit socks for soldiers despite carpal tunnel?
Did suffragettes clench their jaws against the agony of every damn step?
Did women on farms suffer with tree pollen at the height of planting season?  

My body does its secret work of self-destruction.
I dress up anxiety to perform as excitement
while dread pretends at expectation.
In yet another medical waiting room
I imagine wearing a body bag.
Black goes with everything.