Canopy
I have noticed that some people cannot meander
through a forest without imagining a saw.
A tree spends decades becoming itself.
Drawing water upward.
Holding nests. Making shade. Growing toward
more and more light. Then someone arrives
with a tape measure. A plan. An insecurity.
And suddenly the tree is evaluated
for other purposes. Could this be lumber?
Could this be firewood? Could this become
something smaller and more useful?
Could we have a better view?
I’ve had lovers who spoke about me
this way. Not directly. No one says:
I am intimidated by your height.
Your athleticism. Your joy.
Your intelligence. The way you belong
in so many different rooms.
Instead they find the nearest axe.
A joke made in public. A correction
offered unnecessarily. A story retold
with the important parts
removed. A sentence started
and purposefully not
finished. A slow and careful
reduction. Until they are standing
on the stump
feeling taller.
I used to think it was for me
to explain. To prove
I was not a threat. To shrink the canopy.
To apologize for the shade.
Even after the cut, trees send up shoots
from roots. They insist.
I don’t have space for anyone
who needs me smaller
to feel safe. Or quieter to feel wise.
Or colder to feel warm. Or broken apart
to feed a fire that never seems
to survive the night.
I was making shade for us.
3 thoughts on "Canopy"
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I adore the way that the comparison evolved and grew and circled back to the canopy.
I admire the structure of this poem–the enjambment and couplets. I especially like: “Even after the cut, trees send up shoots / from roots. They insist.”
Lawwwwd. Wow. This puts together so many of the things. I live in the woods and one of the first things I noticed was how many riding mowers and saws people had (cut to my…”why???”) I’ve only had one beloved who didn’t need me to be smaller in soul than I was, and they were otherwise encumbered, which I had forgotten thanks to a head injury. Even though that could not last the long times, I learned what it felt like and to benchmark by someone’s ability to not just tolerate but love all the things that had bothered others. I think about the “clearing” issues a lot now that I have a little body mobility to garden but not enough to drive an hour to get fresh food anymore. It’s taking a lot of sacred reflection for me to allow my back forty to be opened up for food trees, to think through all the ethics of the coexistence/likely behaviors of deer and hogs, etc.
Thanks for sharing this. Going to save it for healing work.