It’s time to open up my veins again;
cut through the Pollock of my thoughts
so I can get to the truth.
I push the people I love away
I’m afraid of taking off the mask.
Afraid of wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Afraid of exposing anything vulenerable because
I’m convinced they’ll leave.
So I make them leave.
I distance, I lie, I ignore.
So they have no choice and I reaffirm my fear.
Only, it’s all subconsciously.
I don’t realize I distance,
I don’t understand why I lie,
I don’t notice I ignore.
So how do I cut through the bullshit?
How do I hold the ones I love close?
How do I offer up my heart when it’s still bleeding?