can’t unplug myself
                so it goes like this
                                i’m the villain
the boogiegirl gone bad broken
vengeful pseudostalker screaming
in a vice grip of despair. i just want him
                                                    to love me
& i know he doesn’t
so i am going to war with myself
    over it.                                   i was naive
                to think we could be friends after.
   our love
   two lambs                             leading each other
   by the neck to slaughter in the name of forging
   something unconditional passing through your
   mother’s hands since she birthed you & that’s all
   that encompasses               the worldwomb holding
   your epidermis & therefore mine since i loved you
   & it wasn’t enough to hold both you & her inside of 
   me        two adults going to battle over their own 
                 identities                   projection must run 
                                                                in your blood 
                                                                to the sync of
                rachmaninoff piano concerto no. 2, your bodies     
                               not yet climbing out of the abyss
                               but humming to the music above them 
                                                                i must be the music