Ending, with Tears
I understand the pull of her swirling
hair & why it’s her waist your hand
wants to entwine. I understand
that her aventurine eyes sweep
over you like the Caribbean
surf. I understand why
you forget about other loves, forget
about me. Now I am a crushed
monarch under an 18-
wheeler. A girl who always
goes back out to sea. I am
the moon going down. I shouldn’t
have let you do it. I am a girl
who sings a poem of endless water.
15 thoughts on "Ending, with Tears"
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I particularly like how the last line ties in with the title of the poem, nice write!
Love this, especially the metaphors and the ending’s echo of the title.
Yeah, that crushed monarch beneath an eighteen wheeler says it all. Incredible image.
Echoes.
“I just a girl, standing in front of a boy.
Asking him to love her.”
1. I had to look up “aventurine,” and was glad of it.
2. My favorite line is “I am / the moon going down.”
3. I feel like you are delving deeper & deeper in your poems toward the essential, all but unsayable things. You are getting there.
Not sure anyone ever gets there but you keep going anyway.
Getting there is the thrill and the reward…
salt water- and an 18 wheeler! wow nice stuff here Linda.
Yes to all of the above and also your free range sonnet form
“A girl who always goes back out to sea” finding the source of her water. 🛟💙
I learned a new word, “aventurine.” The lines, “I shouldn’t/ have let you do it,” make me wonder what the “it” is.
Your word choices are gorgeous and painterly, and I like that the speaker “knew better” and takes her power back from the object of her desire.
This is a great poem, Linda. I like the sea coming back again and again – just like the rhythm of waves.
This is gorgeous! I love the plaintive tone and the lyricism.
Agree with other’s good words. The pain expressed builds and builds.
I especially love:
I am
the moon going down.