Family of five, it is my job
to clean baseboards on Saturday morning

and wipe down the pantry shelves while I am at it.
When friends clamor for me to finally come out
in the afternoon on the hot asphalt street,
I play along to a game of Hong Kong Phooey.
I mumble-sing Josie and the Pussycats.

I do not know why everyone pays so much attention
to tall, tan, long-haired, bright blonde, Crissy,
but I energetically agree when they all say, “She’s Ideal!”
One tell-tale time, I drop a gum wrapper on the ground
and have to be a slow-witted cowboy for the rest of the day.

When I am in junior high, I work hand in glove
to place the offensive plain white packages of
behind the big red box of Stove Top Stuffing.
Looking back, a very Pink Panther move.

Years later, I buy a necklace from
the Kentucky Artisan Center at Berea
and muffle a fake laugh when my friend says
“You look like the OOOO Mighty Isis!”

And, don’t you know, early last Saturday,
chatting with my mentor, he reveals that he helped engineer
the Easy Bake Oven, the Sit and Spin, and the amazing Stretch Armstrong.

Truth be told, the only thing I can smell is hot water and Pine-Sol.