Habits, Habitats
The morning breathes its bluewhite smoke
into my eyes—slicks past my apartment
behind the ivy-covered chain link—a surprise
next to the factory.
next to the factory.
Occasionally alarms comb the walls–they watch me grow,
light the cigarette, watch the birds scatter thin
against the sky, their wings almost
mechanical in rhythm.
You learn to forget it: the hum and flicker.
By 40–I promise and promise,
I’ll quit—like saying I’d quit wanting touch.
What leaves me doesn’t kills me; perhaps it sees me
off through regret.
10 thoughts on "Habits, Habitats"
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Shaun, the final lines are haunting. I really appreciate how you subverted the classic ‘what doesn’t kill me’ trope and turned it into something much more honest, quiet, and reflective. ‘Perhaps it sees me off through regret’ is a line that stays with you long after reading.
on second reading, the habitat–smoke, chain-link, factory, alarms, hum and flicker–beautifully forecasts the rueful resignation
Complicated poem, structurally, emotionally. Stanza 3 is haunting.
The poem moves at a creeping pace to those powerful last lines.
“You learn to forget it: the hum and flicker.
By 40–I promise and promise,
I’ll quit—like saying I’d quit wanting touch.”
A grip that won’t let loose. Great write.
That’s a great poem, and very touching
Another powerful poem, Shaun. You’ve had a great month.
Shew!x10
Especially love how the first line drew me innocent “The morning breathes” into the switch “its blue white smoke
into my eyes”, and how you intertwine nature with harsh reality “ivy-covered chain link—a surprise/next to the factory.” and “light the cigarette, watch the birds scatter thin/against the sky,”
The third stanza hurts…just hurts.
Achingly powerful, Shaun. That first line echoes my morning so far (substitute grey for your “blue”)
Yes, this poem is complicated. And so haunting and powerful.
I agree with Jeremy about those last two lines. The title is so fitting, clever word play. So much works here, what stood out most to me was the conversational tone. Really brought me into the piece, into an understanding.