I wish I could write about things that make me happy

But it seems that all I’m able to write about is pain and suffering

So, all I ever write about is you

Two nights ago, I had a dream again

Well, more of a nightmare

Just as I thought I was getting better

You barge back into my psyche

Like a dog, returning to its vomit

Disgusting, but predictable

In my dream, we were on a date

Something I never got to do with you

Something I wanted so badly to do with you

Something I knew I never could do

Even in my dreamworld, something was off

Your caring touch caused my stomach to turn

Your gentle gaze ran a chill of fear down my spine

Your sweet words made my skin crawl

I mean, go figure

All I’ve ever known of you is my fear of you

Of what you could do to me

Or worse

What I would let you do