i did not ask for much
from you,
though there was much
i wanted to give—
laughter, peace,
comfort, satisfaction

this does not mean
i needed nothing
from you—
i had needs, plenty, but
i wanted to give—
the way i saw
mother give to father,
nurse to patient,
lover to beloved

i am not saying
you never gave—
you did, but it felt rare,
which made it all the more
precious to me
and it made me
want to give
even more

you slept so soundly
in our bed, not knowing
how often I would lie awake,
studying your face,
your mouth, the
curves of your body,
thinking of what
i could give you
in the morning—
breakfast, the paper,
coffee, a kiss before
you left

i did not ask for much,
i wanted to give,
but now you are gone
and i lie awake
in our bed, not knowing
what the morning will bring,
beyond loneliness, and with a
heart that yearns to be
poured out for you—
lifeblood pool,
made for splashing, dancing,
painting, provision,
but not, my love,
not to be wiped away—
leave the stain
to mark the place,
so my life may count
for something, after all

i did not ask for much,
i wanted to give