I find my first baby, Kitty, on eBay.
Upon searching I discover
her true name,
Pussy Cat,
made by Madame Alexander, 1965

I was disturbed to hear 
Mom say she probably threw her out,
having suffered a bad haircut,
torn stuffing, chewed toes

I mourn her loss

Seeing her would make me so happy.
Like the day cleaning my parents attic,
my kissing doll appears among old clothing,
naked, with stained face and sticking up hair.

Holding her, oh the wholeness!
Squeezing her belly to get the kiss face
pure joy!

There is Pussy Cat waiting online,
plastic baby legs having greened.
I decide against it,
too much a reminder of sad things.