Two years five months five days nine
hours forty-five minutes without you
without that kick in the pants without
that shot in the arm without that burning
alarm bell in my chest my eyes shooting
open my pulse quickening my mouth
stretching into a rictus grin I do miss you
even as my children breathe without
impediment even as my wife and I taste
our dinners and desserts I miss having
something to do while driving something
to give me a break at work something
to depend on I love you still or maybe not
love so much as lust I lust you cigarette
I long for your fire in my mouth but on
the other hand you killed my father
so go fuck yourself you fucking fuck