On the Way to Forgetting
Moving towards the end now,
who knows how many years
how many will be good ones,
how many spent enduring,
as mother did,
memories stripped
from the uniform of one’s life,
forgetting everything
and everyone you ever knew.
I am afraid of death.
But more frightening is that
slow leeching, Alzheimer’s
as the coal ash pond
poisoning the recollections of
loved ones, overwhelming
family football games,
those dinners with laughter,
and those with broken plates,
tracing tender spots
with a light finger,
and for my daughter,
her goofball dad become
guilt-inducing burden
to be visited briefly
once a week,
of having to hear herself say
to a friend some night
over tapas and cocktails
His death, when it comes,
will be a blessing,
and meaning it.
13 thoughts on "On the Way to Forgetting"
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Raw. Unfiltered. Real. This is heartbreaking and written so well, Bill. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I’m accustomed to saying “one of your best” but this is!
This truth is heartbreaking. Thank you for being so honest.
This holds the attention
of this old man: how you
project the feeling you have
toward your mom onto how
your offspring will feel about
you.
You capture the dread of the disease so well in this and it is heartbreaking.
Yes. I had an aunt who had it the last 20 years of her life and it was heartbreaking for all of us, especially her husband, my uncle Charlie, her caretaker.
Hope to god that medicine can make progress on treatment and prevention very soon.
Your words tenderly lay a path along this devastating journey. The inclusion of everyday family occurrences adds to the reality.
You tap into this feeling so many of us have, Bill! Hurts to the core, but you write the hard stuff so beautifully.
it’s all about the journey towards
not the end
and all the more reason to get it down
now
and fast
absolutely!
Well Bill this one pulled me in to the point that I almost drank my candle (which was perilously close to my coffee cup). It was the slow leeching from the coal ash pond. Where I am from there was an incident where the pressure from the pond, unmonitored, burst through the hillside and ruined everything below. Literally and metaphorically terrorizing. You handle it with tender stoicism here.
I, too, can relate to the feelings here about “Alzheimer’s/as the coal ash pond.” Thoughtful and important writing as always.
I think you win the prize turkey for this one.
It’s stellar.