One More Thing
I think about
a small stone fountain
below our bedroom balcony
maybe with a cherub
or a pair of birds
plump mourning doves
sending water up to the sky
the bubbling spray
creating the sounds
of our own little brook
rolling across rocks
shallow enough
to see clearly
bright moss clinging
to smooth and jagged
slabs of gray bedrock
a small stone fountain
below our bedroom balcony
maybe with a cherub
or a pair of birds
plump mourning doves
sending water up to the sky
the bubbling spray
creating the sounds
of our own little brook
rolling across rocks
shallow enough
to see clearly
bright moss clinging
to smooth and jagged
slabs of gray bedrock
It is just one more thing
I think
will make our life complete
maybe even
perfect
15 thoughts on "One More Thing"
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I love the image of the fountain- it’s like I get to see the idea forming in your brain as the poem moves forward.
Oh wow! Thanx sincerely!
Oh, gosh, I had the opposite thought from Kat’s. The bedrock is such a strong, tangible image. The last strophe is so abstract, I think it might detract from the strength of this lovely poem. Just a thought.
Something to consider—the last stanza looks a little tacked on. Maybe blend sentiment somewhere in first stanza.
It’s already there. <3 😎
I appreciate the distinction at the end between complete and perfect. It’s a good reminder that one isn’t necessarily the other.
Yes!!!!thanks for comments.
The sound of water bubbling across rocks has to be one of the most beautiful around!
Ah yes and it can’t be bottled—has to be live! Hi Sylvia!
I saw you mentioned Been Down So Long, It Looks Like Up to me in another post. I love that book! Glad to meet another Farina reader.
it’s never enough
Yes—-never! Where is contentment for more than an hour?
The last stanza gets me thinking about perfection. Does it ever exist?
Adds depth to the thought.
What beautiful sensory details! I especially love the “bubbling spray.” The rhythm of this poem is lovely.
Lovely poem i can relate to those small emulations of nature that can seem i am out of this congested city even just by listening to the bubbles in a fountain as i drift off to dreamland . . . such hope, thank you!