Just called a nice restaurant to make reservations
Well, maybe “nice” isn’t the best word
Called their main number
Got a recording to call “Lauren” at a different number
Called the second number
Was not given a “Lauren” option
Was asked to leave a voicemail message
Left a message
Have not heard back.

They are probably very busy today
Maybe Lauren no longer works there
Or what if my number on caller ID triggered a profile they don’t like?
Could I be on a “no-fly” list for fancy restaurants?
I’ve eaten there a few times
Maybe they didn’t like the way I was dressed.

Well, I’ll show them
I’ll go to another restaurant and get a doggy bag
Then I’ll park right out front and eat my dinner in the car
I’m sure they’ll see me
Yep, I know how to get even.