Split Sequence: Cloud Underscore
for Roberta Schultz
in light wind
cloud is a cloverleaf
unpicked in the sky
with stars in her hair
blooming so
cloud is a flower
wind blows away
the cloud is godzilla—
hiding in the sky
cloud is a mantis
praying for a meal
this storm too will fade
* Split sequence is a form invented by Peter Jastermsky in 2017.
Four short-form poems that interact to form imaginative sparks. .
22 thoughts on "Split Sequence: Cloud Underscore"
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
NGL. I’m still figuring this out.
But you’ve got me intrigued by word and form.
Lol…..thanks for reading Joe.
Think of it as similar in a a way to a contrapuntal. The seed (italics) bounces off the sequence. 😀
Did you borrow either the seed or the “verses”?
The seed I wrote as an after reading after Roberta’s poem ” I’m trying really hard..” the other are a straight sequence.
I have seen splits with buson and basho used as seeds so yeah great insight on the form
I found one…..this is one with buson as the seed
buson braiding dandelions
wild dandelion
seeds in my fist always
attempting to escape
butterfly
picking dandelions
in the meadow one by one–
harvesting bright suns
sleeping
first dandelion
of my cloud-filled mind
a yellow echo
on the temple bell
Really interesting form. Thank you for the shout out. I hope you’re right about the last line since I’ve been hunkering down in the basement all night. 🙂
❤️
Hang in there, Roberta!
“unpicked in the sky” – oh, that’s nice Thanks for bringing this form to my attention so beautifully!
Thank you Sylvia,…yeah, I liked that one too …..made my eyes smile 😻 I have been playing with this form There actually is quite a bit of info.
He says, and it made.me laugh. That like all inventions, it started with a hmmm that’s funny 😀
This is the perfect analogy for this form, well done!
Thank you Jeremy 😀
This poem sparks well!
Love “unpicked in the sky”, “mantis/praying for a meal
Thanks for the footnotes. This form is new to me. Like it.
Thank you Pam….yes i smiled at the clover too 😊
I think the thing is this form is new to all of us. I was really surprised at how many journals are adding it….it has a lot of rules which aome don’t like but fairly easy to lock into and …and open category really as far as submitting…its less than ten years as a form.
I like what you did with this (new) form! I was especially drawn to:
“hiding in the sky
cloud is a mantis
praying for a meal”
Incredible!
Thank-you H.A.
It was nice the other afternoon watching them change shape. They were doing neat cloud things. And yeah, fascinating how a form comes out of nowhere and here we are, and it juat shows up.
Nice to be able to share in june our discoveries from the other seasons.
clouds as a canvas for our imagination
I enjoyed the movement in the white space and this storm developing, I think, from seemingly nothing, and then becoming to be this greater threat.
Well done!
Beautiful, Coleman! So delicate, so hopeful—with Godzilla suddenly stomping into the poem in high dudgeon, ha ha!
I laughed out loud.
This is cool! I love it.
Wouldn’t be so strong without Godzilla coming on. I appreciate your imagination more every day, Coleman.
New form to me, can count of you to be the leading edge. Loved Godzilla’s appearance too!