Bodhisattva showed us how to combine

all our fears into one living thing

So it can be seen, instead of just felt
 

All our fears go into forming a great monster,

from our kid stuff to our current stuff

It’s a combination of oldies and greatest hits and new stuff –

which really is just a buildup of all the old stuff

When complete, and standing in our doorway,

we can assess its height and weight,

just as we would a persistent bully on the playground

The hope, and the enlightenment, is that

once seen and faced,

the beast will lose its ability to frighten

Instead, it will awaken our ability

for compassion and understanding

There will be empathy for it, and, in turn, ourselves 

His monster was named Mara,

and he was described as a Demon God

I picture a huge, hairy beast

with protruding fangs and malicious intent 

Today, my monster took the form

of a Metro Bus driver named Bob

He said that he wanted to be called “Robert,”

but felt that it might come off as pretentious to his riders

He was stopping by after a long, difficult shift,

looking horrible and sad

He smelled of stale cigarettes and the city,

and every minute or two he would knead

the back of his neck and clear his throat

I offered him tea, which he accepted,

balancing cup and saucer on his knee

A little bit spilled on his pants,

but he seemed not to notice 

His clothing was worn but clean,

his face deeply wrinkled

with skin that looked as though

it had rarely seen sunlight

His life, he realized, had been focused

on making sure that all his passengers

got to where they were going 

Right on time, every day,

after day, after day, after day

Bob was a tired old man

who had traveled many miles

in service to many people

But he had no journey of his own

He knew no joy of his own

He held the cup up high to get the last sip of tea,

carefully placed it back on the table

and quietly left the room

I looked at the empty chair and still warm cup,

while listening to his footsteps retreat to silence

I found myself wishing he had stayed longer

A hairy beast with fangs and malice would have

been somehow better, the fear for bodily harm much

preferred to deep and genuine sorrow  

Bob, the monster that showed itself to me,
was actually selflessness

The belief that being committed to everyone’s journey

but his own would somehow find him favor in the eyes

of loved ones, peers, and a deity never seen but believed

Selflessness showed itself for what it truly is

Self-neglect

Now, the room is so very still

I find myself in a new alone

Asking if those I serve so faithfully,

I serve out of love and caring

Or because it’s easier to serve them

than to love myself…