I never rest

An electric buzzing behind my eyes keeps me up

Nightmares rouse me from my sleep

And put burning in my sinuses

None of this feels real

What’s the point

Of reality

When my life is lived at zero or a hundreds

A light switch

On and off

Life then death

Higher than the mountaintops

Or in the deepest ocean trench

I can’t keep doing this

It’s scaring me

Tearing me limb from limb

All to pull me back together again

Tethered to the notion of normal

It’s always something with me

Until it’s not

A carousel

Starting

To stop

Just to start again

The cycle of life

Everything is so simple

And yet too complex to wrap my head around

Nothing will never end

Until it does