He has a thousand dollars.

That is like a million dollars to a rat.

He is 4 inches tall and 3 inches wide.

He wears Comme Des Garçons

One glove specifically

With the finger tips cut off and his little hands poked out of them.

He is pro union. He orders a coke at the restaurant and it is bigger than him. Portia DeGeneres thinks it’s very funny.

That is who he goes to restaurants with

because he is famous.

He doesn’t have EarPods because they’re stupid. Shut up

( Y’all read Geronimo Stilton? )

He drinks champagne out of those little cups that come with NyQuil.

When he gets a tiny boat like

Stuart Little (whose murder he is primary suspect for) (so tight tbh) (I know who I trust) 

It is over for you non-rat bitches.