I lay on the table,

breathing deeply,

probably more calmly

than the last time I was here.


Not that I dread the pain any less.

I want the relief

but not the process to get there.


The shape of relief

can be many different things:

a doctor who is knowledgeable

and gentle,

the news that surgery is not needed,

a more powerful medicine,

a promise of healing

in weeks,

sooner than later,

an afternoon with my girlfriend

eating pizza and playing Pokémon

and breathing easily.