To A Younger Self

As I look back to my childhood,

Across the stolen years,

What would I say to my younger self,

To calm my nightly fears?

Of course, I’d say that things get better,

Just wait, I promise you’ll see,

But mostly things get different,

When you become what you can be.

The lies you were taught to believe,

When you were too young to know,

You’ll recognize for what they are,

When you are older and grown.

Of course it takes work and reflection,

To dig out of the bunker you’ve built,

Which was needed for safety and comfort,

Though constructed from second hand guilt. 

The pain you suppress in your young days,

Festers inside like a cyst,

It will haunt your dreams night and day,

In the mill of your mind it’s the grist.

Of course it will toughen you and age you,

You’ll be told you were always an old man,

That’s how you’ll make sense of your surroundings,

Growing up as quick as you can. 

Though you don’t recognize it immediately,

That pain is a double edged sword,

Sure it haunts you and hurts you,

But it’s given you strength unexplored.

The trick you’ll find when you’re older,

I’ll tell you young man I have found,

Is trusting those now who surround you,

And laying that double edged sword back down.

One more thing I suppose I should tell you,

You’ll learn it I think when you’re grown,

Your pain belonged to others before you,

And was given to you but on loan.

You may assess it, label it, and reject it.

It’s yours to do with as you please,

Accept it, acknowledge it and release it,

And then you replace it with peace.

First give yourself the love you are missing,

Be the person you needed back then,

To be able give love to others,

You must first see yourself as a friend.

No, the path ahead will not be easy,

You’ve walked through the darkness alone,

But the light ahead is well worth the journey,

Your past is the story that you own.