Twin Liberation
I don’t miss his callous
misdeeds. Covert dirty
touches. Bitter & bigoted
rants. Why do I live
backwards with tattered
snapshot stuffed
shoeboxes & tawny
maps? I rummage – seeking
what? Am I happy
at 12 in my first two-piece,
a stretchy black & white
jersey with sassy fringe draped
across my bust? I don’t miss
his callous misdeeds. His glee
from live-trapping a groundhog
& watching it slowly
starve. Sophomore,
I hide my breasts under baggy
cardigans & blazers. I tie them down
with strips of cheesecloth. I don’t
miss his callous misdeeds. X-rated
shame in the bedroom & he snatches
my college fund. Now, so many
years later my life is veined
with silver. In the ICU where he
dies, I hold his translucent
hand as his final day closes. I whisper,
“you can let go,” wishing
him no harm but feeling no
sadness. No one should
die alone but I don’t miss
his callous misdeeds. I repeat
I don’t. I don’t. I don’t.
15 thoughts on "Twin Liberation"
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Wow, powerful! The repetition really works.
Agreed, Linda.
i agree about the repetition…
you’ve really squeezed a lot in here..
Yes, this is a story powerfully told.
Whew — an amazing piece of writing. The trip/incidents through time and the protestations that he won’t be missed, ending with what feels like a plea to forget, all add up to a great one. Thanks for sharing this.
This poem is full of a hard-won grace, Linda.
the ending is gentle and fierce at the same time. a powerful testament to some deep work
Incredible poem, Linda! Powerful and true.
His calloused hands….very powerful poem!
holds his translucent hand
yes
Aaaaahhhh!!!
Why did we hate ourselves enough to allow the predator inside? Taking a hunk out of us whenever they liked?
Great poem. It breaks my heart for the person (you) who felt undeserving of better.
I read it as a question…”am I happy?”
Honestly I think our most important question.
Very potent material here.
The other side of the “forgiveness is healing” coin. There’s a toughness here that I really like. Also this is the most purposeful and effective use of enjambment in all your poems that I’ve read so far. Bravo.
there is holding on to all the reasons (I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t…. and the refrain I don’t miss his callous misdeeds) to remain resentful – and the ICU. the blessing. a complicated mess, there is nothing ever tidy and simple, I love this poem Lindy Lou Who.
Wow, the repetition of that opening line is so powerful as the speaker’s experience evolves. I can’t help but marvel at the speaker’s generosity, but you’ve captured the nuances of complex family dynamics (and what one does to survive dysfunction).