The knock at
four a.m.
needed to be
answered
I needed
to ignore
the dread
and fear
The rain
needed to
stop beating
so loudly
Time needed
to let me
shut out
the noise
Until the
morning
came in
soft and fragrant
When looking
out my
window
revealed much
And darkness
no longer
gripped my
weary soul
And I’m right;
you were
knocking at
the wrong door
Camelot or Capua
Clematis, stubborn teacher
her tendril anchors, twiggy
& parched, bare, seem dead
but her leaves clamor above
like green flames of hope
I lift her tiny purple smiles
to the garden arch’s next level
imagine her earthy sigh
Ahhhhh
I long to pull her
viney bones
to coil up the trellis
save her, but, No!
She whimpers
for release
as each spring bundling
strains toward the top–
her domed, beloved sky
and sun
calling, calling
Patience she whispers–
leave well enough
alone
The prominent, the dominant
meet the resistant,
the persistent,
the existent.
No one crosses the street.
No one blinks twice.
No one extends a hand.
This is the modern arena.
I see it in her eyes
a look so bleak
an expression blank
just going through
the motions, but her mind,
her heart stays secluded.
I hear it in her voice
thin as a whisper
an unnatural vibrato
not the words she speaks,
but the things she never
mentions.
I feel it in her touch
cold and distant
lifeless as a corpse
as dead as the one
she continues to mourn.
Have you seen the meme
with screenshots of various 60s, 70s and 80s shows’
heroes desperately mired in quicksand?
Caption reading “When I was a kid,
I thought that quicksand
was going to be a much bigger problem than it is”
LOL Good for a hearty chuckle
until
Several reeling hits fall within a few days
or I just can’t seem to catch my breath
or even break the surface of my goals
One inescapable situation
after another
after another
Just in time to lose your footing
as a new series of unfortunate events begins to suck you under.
They are trying to legislate gender
and make it illegal to be trans.
I have thought before
about leaving this country.
I am kicking myself
that I still don’t have a passport.
We were supposed to scout locations
in Canada
but life happens and plans fall away.
I used to wonder why more Jews didn’t flee Germany
at the first rumors
of what was coming.
But now I know the answer:
they had lives.
They had commitments
and jobs
and families
with children
and babies too young to travel.
And money to relocate
your entire life
doesn’t grow on trees.
They probably felt as stuck
as I do now,
with the family business to run
and no other source of income
and God, please, God,
don’t let it be true,
don’t let any of it reach us.
Friends are moving to other states
for safety.
I watch TikToks about people
in Florida
making emergency plans
to leave at a moment’s notice.
I watch others who can barely afford to
keep themselves off the street,
much less save money
to move to shelter far away.
I avoid the news.
Who wants to stare into the lights
of the train that’s going to hit them?
I don’t want to know the horrors that are coming.
I just want it to be quick
and then over.
We had lives here
and commitments
and families.
dancing in your kitchen
i never wanna let you go
your waist feels so good in my hands
i love you more than you’ll ever know
my god how did we get here
i remember last year i was sad enough
my dear when you appeared
i was wrapped around your thumb
“This may shock you to hear, but your opinion doesn’t mean very much to me.”
yes. I know this is true. And it’s nothing personal. We’ve only hung out for less than 2 hours total.
even the tornado and the tornado alarm and the kill switch can come together for the cause of distressing me.
