and I cannot sleep. Today I backed
down from a dispute with a friend,
let fear of losing silence me.
So many losses these last few years,
one more felt like one too many. 

I squelched my voice, shoved it down,
but after lights out, the argument
erupted in my head. What should I, 
could I have said? Would she have heard
me? Would we have parted or come together?

Too late. I didn’t speak, so I don’t know
and now I only argue with my pillows.