Weather or Not
(or Precipitory Pantoum)
On a drive home from Lexington
the days of rain ran their roughshod will
and I could see the cloud front
hollering over the distant hills.
The days of rain ran. Their roughshod will
I welcomed. The break of coming sun
hollering over. The distant hills–
it’d been a week, already. A hard one,
and I welcomed the break. Of coming sun,
for so only long can things remain static.
It’d been a week, already a hard one,
and a dry day? Hell, I’d be ecstatic
for so only long. Can things remain? Static,
on a drive home–from Lexington–
dry day hell. I’d be ecstatic,
could I see the cloud front come.
I really loved this! Great to read aloud!
Shaun, the rhythm is wonderful here. I love how meaning (like the weather in Lexington) can shift depending on how it is phrased. Complex poem done so well!
I really dig the way you played with the form. Good poem
It’s rained so much here our fully loaded mulberry trees fell over on the Gooseberry bushes
Deftly done, great work!
Such a demanding form! You handled it well.
Great! Love the repeating lines. Very cool.
Awesome poem, man! Been really enjoying your work!
Love the repetition of certain words like “roughshod” & “will,” as well as the alliteration & the structure. And a cloud front “hollering” is wonderful!
You handle the pantoum form well! Mixing up the breaks works, and the result is a great connection between the weather and how the speaker feels about life!