Your cough, 
too small for
a man your size
always annoyed me.

Because I know
that is bitchy
and irrational
I would just
clench my jaw
and sigh and
wait for you to do it
5 more times before
yelling at you
to take allergy medicine 
or asking you
(accusingly)
if you were ok?

You’ve been away
for work for four days,
my first time in 8 years
being home this
long without you.

The house is quiet
without those coughs,
the yawns that drive 
me crazy because 
you Chewbacca-scream 
throughout them
(like your Papaw 
used to, you told me,
so I know that will 
never change),
the clicks from 
your video game
controller, loud
enough to hear 
all the way 
from the kitchen.

I adjust to the silence
as though it were
darkness; 
I can make out 
things I couldn’t 
see before, a 
little better all 
the time.

For instance,
did you realize 
how often 
(how beautifully)
you sing? 
How much 
we laugh
together.

I never noticed
till now
how many
times a day
you call me
darlin’.