who leaves
“…who left the way a dream leaves once you open your eyes.”
-Jennifer Martelli, “The Memory Floor,” from Psychic Party Under the Bottle Tree
I remember before Duke Energy cut down the mulberry,
one main branch broke off in a storm. Lying in the ivy
until the following spring, leaves budded, unfurled,
and green berries appeared, waiting to ripen
on the severed limb, like a ghost memory…
a London friend told me in 2023 two men, shielded
by the wind of Storm Agnes, wielded a chainsaw
to fell the one-hundred-year-old Sycamore
in Northumberland “just for fun.” Said it reminded her
of the story I once shared about the swan, Faye
at the Manlius Swan Pond, the mute mother
stolen—cooked and eaten—her four cygnets
mercifully returned to fend behind the chain link
fence. Motherless. Yet another friend doubted
a vision she’d seen of a strange woman crossing
at the foot of her bed. Wonders
if it was a dream. The Major Oak in Sherwood
Forest died this year. One thousand years old.
Props and metal chains, concrete and lead—
like overkneaded bread, dead from excess
touch, compacted soil from too many tourists,
perhaps too much heat in our changing world.
On the phone, my mother repeats how she won’t
be here for the next wedding in July. Wishful,
she rocks on the front porch, laments the number
of cars whizzing by on East Genessee in one
breath, and in the next, how her daughter and son
got so sick. And here, she lives on, ninety-nine.
18 thoughts on "who leaves"
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Ellen, your journey through grief is heart rending and brilliant-spoken. ❤️
Love “…like overkneaded bread, dead from excess/touch, compacted soil from too many tourists,/perhaps too much heat in our changing world.
Thank you for your kind words, Pam. I love it when a metaphor pops into our heads.
What an interesting meandering! Each of the vignettes is told so concisely, Ellen. Thanks for sharing this wisdom.
Thanks for reading, Nancy. I must start visiting again!
An intimate and extraordinary connection of grief across time and place. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thank you, H.A., for stopping by & reading this.
ellen, this poem captures tragedy in such an unexpected and visceral way. fantastic
Hi Kris! Thanks for stopping by & commenting. I’ve visited too few pages this round. I’ll stop by yours now!
There’s so much here, hits me especially after finally getting myself outside, under my oldest tree which maybe would be prudent to remove but which I would definitely now, for the first solstice evening in a long time. My mother dies every morning when I wake up, fracture compounded by the reality of her being alive in another relative’s house. This life is too long to get through. Thank you for sharing this piece.
Wow, Elle. I felt your comment so powerfully: “My mother dies every morning when I wake up…” The most brilliant phrase I’ve read in such a long time. I’ve also found myself feeling that this life is too long to get through, and then feeling guilty for thinking this. Maybe this is the definition of grief. Thank you for understanding,
This is fantastic, each piece is moving on its own, cruel, too, and then the one who remains living despite a desire not to.
Life is full of contradictions. I may have stopped trying to name this, just observe it.
The personal move at the end of this piece is truly thoughtful and moving. I loved the lines ‘Props and metal chains, concrete and lead—/like overkneaded bread” and “the mute mother/stolen—cooked and eaten—”
Thanks, Shaun!
Ellen, you’ve woven so beautifully the multiple stories here, all joining in a single theme…and with a gentle rhythm as well!
Thank you, Greg!
Ellen, this is poem is so tender, reverent, vulnerable. It goes so many places, but they’re woven together so seamlessly.
This image really struck me:
“…like overkneaded bread, dead from excess/touch, compacted soil from too many tourists,/perhaps too much heat in our changing world.”
Thank you for this comment, Karen.