I consider myself more of a 
which means I’m fiscally conservative,
but socially believe that no amount of public works
can wrestle humanity from the
slimy maw 
of the Elder Gods 
which silently gaze upon civilization
entombed in the ether of outer space
until our collective consciousness
claws open the gates
between our terrestrial dimension
and the cloudy haze where time stands still.

I believe that immigration is important
but only when going to and from
the subterranean prison
housing almighty Cthulhu
whose tendrils billow beneath his sunken eyes
which, while quiet now,
may open
and drive the most sane man mad
and wreck the stock market,
or something.

So yeah,
even though I’m technically registered as a Democrat
so I can vote in the primaries,
you don’t know me
and don’t want to, either.