Posts for June 21, 2019 (page 2)

As I sit and think about you

I hold on to the feeling of hugging you

I remember the secrets we shared

And the tears we lost

I drive and ponder on the thought

Of why I feel so alone

With headlights and moving bodies

Everywhere

It’s a constant feeling

Knowing I have to wait to see you again

To sit with you again

I close my eyes and try to go back

And reminiscence on our memories

I look up in the sky and hope

You aren’t all alone

I know you’re always with me

And I’m always with you

But every time I drop a tear,

Crack a smile,

Or have a crazy moment

I wish I could drive home

And tell you.

It’s almost been a year

And I don’t know how I’ve gotten through it

But I know you’re spirit

has been with me the whole way.

My greatest best friend,

I miss you

And I’ll forever be holding on to your paw

And you’ll forever be a part of me.

We lived in the
House my father built
for two years
We had to move
Because my dad went off
with another woman
and her three kids

Mom rented a house across
the street from school
for the 6 of us.
She stood on the porch
holding the littlest one
and watched us walk to school.
We lived there one year
Mom did such a good job
fixing up the place
the owner raised the rent
and we had to move.

On April fools, I told everyone
that we were moving
to another town.
The kids in class thought I was
joking.
Mrs. Reed, my second grade
teacher, pulled me aside
and took me on her lap.
She knew this was
no joke.
She was old and kind and had
wet eyes
She held me and told me
everything would be ok,
then gave me a pack of
Juicy Fruit gum

Floating ink not weeds
Ozu crafted ellipsis
with tatami shots

Master of the house
is celluloid suffering
of Mizoguchi

Miyagawas eyes
remain atop the mountain
stillness or tracking

Constantly crafting
cinemas forward motion
unbroken moments

Gifted invention
a bleach bypass processing
new roadmaps for use

Akira came close
mostly with Sanjuros help
yet still a craftsman

Art can be found here

Missing

is like that,

I suppose.

Most of the time,

I forget

you exist.

But a smell

or song

can bring your lips

back to my collarbone,

your hands

back to my hips.

Torrential rains ceased on this first day of summer.
Mother Nature knew our desperation for a little sunshine.  

Grateful for blue skies, I filled the day with those luxuries
I promise myself when I have more time…
         walked through the park
          lounged by the pool
          read a mystery novel
          cooked a meal from scratch
          even indulged in an afternoon nap.  

Yet I savored the hour spent with you —
the easy chatter of companions,
the laughter of inside jokes,
the stolen glances across our breakfast plates,
and the locked gaze that spoke volumes.  

But we realized that friendship
is the only intimacy we can permit
on this bright day.
Tomorrow the darkness comes back in bits.

I start the day with
bird calls coming from
bushes and treetops,
urgent and restless.
Clouds cover the cool
morning and grey
squirrels chase each
other along the gnarly
walnut branches, the
background music of
birds tapering with the
heat of the day when
the bees and beetles
and butterflies step
in to fill the air with
buzzing all along their
flight paths. A thick
carpet of wildflowers
adorn tree roots, the
well of their blossoms
awaiting the moment
bees drink their nectar.
Then, insect wings settle
as sunset approaches,
and with dusk, tree frogs
begin their cries. My
footprints seem so small
as a whippoorwill’s call
echoes through the hills
and my path up the hollow
is draped in shadows.

Fundamental Math
You jump off a bridge
I’m coming in after you
That’s what lovers do

I can’t tell if my headache is from clenching my teeth or if I’m clenching because of the ache 

I touch my ears to my shoulders to try to wake my neck up and see if it’ll talk any sense into it’s upstairs neighbors 

Because the reality of the whole situation is that people are moving and my job isn’t as fun as it used to be and it seems to be raining more and more each year 

But that’s probably just the climate crisis 

I wish this headache would go away

Though it was turned around to avoid all
accidental button pushing,
I kept bumping the buttons
on my pink sunfaded watch.

It tells me it’s a Saturday
on a Wednesday and goes off
around 10:09 am daily:
bee-beep, bee-beep, bee-beep!

It isn’t keeping
      military time
and I am thankful:
All of this is confusing enough
      without relying on a watch
I keep manipulating
      unintentionally
during undertakings I love
      time after time to unwind:
spon-
       taneous hugs,
moving the
       sliced mozz-
arella logs
        and tubs of shredded hard cheeses
to the front of the store shelves,
        disc-
overing new stones to give as gifts,
then a chirp at the beginning of the hour
         tell I pressed on
         and it stopped.

This is only a test.

If it were serious
    it would be all over
        Facebook
        Twitter
        Reddit
              local news
                national news
                      Al Jazeera
                      BBC
                           The New York Fucking Times.

I wouldn’t just know about it from
        my family
               my friends
                     my own eyes.

So it must be a test
        or else we’d be talking about it.

Right?