Posts for June 2, 2020 (page 4)

I sat at the top of a mountain looking outward toward the horizon,
Grey clouds were gathering in the distance,
A storm was brewing,
The storm was too far away to be concerned with,
So I went about my business as normal,
I looked out again after days have past,
The storm was growing nearer and larger by the day,
Still too far to worry about,
I continued about my usual day,
Time past and i forgot about the storm,
Figured it would pass over affecting nothing,
I was wrong,
The day the storm hit my life on that mountain was over,
As I was knocked from the summit into the deepest valley

Sometimes
coming together is
so harsh and quick
your life crumbles
under the force of it.
And you sift through
the broken pieces,
the sharp shards
under your feet,
until you finally find
the unbreakable,
crystalline center
of you.

I awakened this morning and
typed out my dream before
I had a chance to forget but
my glasses were nowhere nearby so
I can barely make out the words. 

I remember waves clawing
at the living room floor from
the outside in, dissolving
whatever silty sandy tile it was
made of, so that there was 
a little less room to stand 
moment by moment,
with each pulse of tide.

Growing life to love is one of my favorites.

I like watching them grow,
then to harvest,
then to eat.

Gardens are beautiful though they are not
as beautiful as my darling
puppy. Wicket is his name.

I planted him in
Ohio and brought him back
to Kentucky. He still grows on and on
even if he is far away from his home.

He does not ever reject a treat or snuggles.
But he does not like water (on him not in him). 
He has an adorable bark. I wrote this poem when he was beside me, wet.

He is my special plant. 
I call it “Wicket Caramel Fluff Ball.”
I pick him every day.

He would fall asleep in my lap
then I would put him in his crate
then I would go to bed and the fun
of the day would fall to the silent night.

I asked my mama what’s wrong
With Sammy’s head. She said 
His smart mouth, that’s what.
Smacked him where it hurt too,
As if he would learn something.

He always said respect the police.
They’re crazy white men.Treat them Very careful.
You ain’t no child to them. You’re just a nigger.
Just like Mama said the same thing to Sammy.
She wimpered a little then,
Because of Justice. I think when she
Heard herself say it, she remembered Daddy.

have I forgotten
how lazy the fog

can be when first
attempting to cover

stately mountains
with mutable clouds

or have I never
looked so closely

or appreciated
the spaces left

i do not try to still my shaking. 
don’t try to hold together my vibrating big toe 
as it presses the gas peddle 
or quiet the tremor in my elbows as they 
connect down to the steering wheel 

i let the Body pulse and quiver and tremble with
all the words it does not say
all the sounds it does not shout 

my tongue sucks to the roof of its mouth 
and all the teeth clack as much as they want to 

Blank expressions weigh heavy on me
as I resume my place at the table
for our nightly session of staring.

Once more, we have brought nothing
to nourish ourselves or this failing relationship.
We starve striving to remember the taste of joy.

We used to be so good at this,
I sigh as I lose even more of myself
to your open fields, your cursory foot tap.

We used to dance a little every night,
a thousand steps to keep the heart beating
and many more if we were feeling frisky.

We used to talk and share all our secrets,
everything we were thinking and feeling
in naked unity.

Now we barely have any conversations,
like perfect memories somehow spoiled.
Your eyes trying to look anywhere but at me.

Blinking speaks the most, telling me
it’s my duty to fill this empty space,
to recover the meaning of life.

I am the one responsible
for bringing back the words we once adored.
You will not move on without me.

Except my confidence has been shattered over time
by bullies and bruises to pride and wellbeing.
My fire was stamped out by a world of misfortune. 

How does one find themself when have
nothing interesting they could possibly say more?
I fear no on will listen to what cannot be loved.

look at the cover
shiny black leather
hold it high
so all can see
if you only knew
the words inside
don’t matter as much
as how we live them