Posts for June 15, 2020


Pressing Restart

Each night before bed
I press down the little
blue lotion lid
and revive
my crispy hands
from a days (not-so) 
hard work.

Wash off the days failures
and hope tomorrow starts 
a new path,
diverging from the hole
I’ve been digging 
for twelve weeks—
my blisters could really use
a break.



I come to the work tired and achey.

Praying over the names of people I have never met in person.

Attending to the weekly task I have set myself

like homework.

It is always overwhelming at first,

looking over the pages still to go,

trying to picture each person as healed

rather than sick,

fighting off sleep and ADD

to get through the ritual.

Tonight, I feel strangely nervous.

I lose my place.

I stumble over words,

my voice unsteady.

My girlfriend has left the house,

so I can chant out loud,

easier than talking to the angels

in my head,

less liable to get lost

in the fog of my own thoughts.

I am constantly tempted to quit.

I have done this long enough.

But it is one of my few consistent

spiritual practices

and one of the few ways I serve the world.

I need to develop my gifts,

learn reiki,

use crystals,

meditate more,

talk to my guardian angels,

learn how to heal on a more global scale.

But until then,

I send out healing energy

nearly every week

to a select group.

I don’t make this strong a commitment

to morning pages,

to my writing,

to exercise

or diet


for some reason

I’ve made this commitment to them.


I come to the work tired,




but I always come to the work

and make sure it is done.



The Emperor; A Reading

                         –      After Christopher McCurry’s
                                “A Snake, Two Bodies, One Head”

I don’t much like the man, any more,
the way he lounges on his throne,
watchful of the way things are
away in the fields

but he does have a kingdom,
and the guides
drew him forth, in two decks,

so this
is me.  Or how they see

and a spread of others, cast about
the table speaks:   

The Two of Coins.
The Two of Swords.

The Hanged Man
and The Hermit.

For once–finally–I get
to choose

which body
withers away–

which gets
to grow


the deck
is cut.


Absolute Total Raging Bitch

Remember me? 2014? 

From the Mall Fashion show?

I pulled your belt a notch tighter

and snapped you right in half

and fed you to the other models.

Good to see you too!

Love your hair.


How She Learned Not to Trust in Four Parts, Maybe More

I. The Father
kisses her mother goodbye 
as he heads to “work.”
While his wife clocks twelve hours,
he sips stale, gas-station coffee 
munches matinee popcorn 
buys another losing lottery ticket
returns home, grumbles
What a rough day
before he blesses the supper.

II. The Boyfriend
purrs poetry,
pledges to travel the world, as his hand
slides up her shirt.
She wants to succumb,
but she made vows to God and a future husband.
At the church carnival, 
his arm snakes another’s waist
his mouth whispers recycled promises.

III. The First Husband
pins her body against the wall
crushes her neck with meaty hands
until her body slides unconscious to the floor.
When she comes to,
he strokes her hair
murmurs another apology against her ear
begs her and God’s forgiveness.

IV. The Last Husband
texts he’s working late.
Feed the kid.  I’ll meet you at Bible study.
She calls his office — 
the ring unanswered, while 
he unzips his pants
drops a stack of bills 
on another hotel nightstand.


ambiguous drive

the courage it takes
to follow a road
straight to a new town
new people
new things
the unknown
of finding joy


What if…

What if cats walked along the telephone lines?
Wouldn’t that be terrifying?
Skulking along in the sky above you
Like bad tempered birds.

(A spoken word piece by Rivka, recorded and ever so slightly altered by Jerielle)


checking over your shoulder on a walk by yourself

i buy a face mask with a clear window in it 
so strangers can read my lips 

i mouth “no thank you”
or “rest in peace” 
sometimes “it’s a dead-end”

the window fogs up if i have too long an idea,
so i don’t.



field of sunflowers
heads lifted up in worship
full hallelujahs



all I want
is a long road
and enough songs
to get me 

and other days
I want 
more than kings
all of it
even it if ends