Posts for June 4, 2021 (page 10)

The storm seized us unaware. 
One minute the fish were biting our lures of corn,
the next the drench descended
like Zeus unleashed, pelting
little thunderbolts of sting our way.
We grabbed the gear and sprinted for shelter,
ducking beneath a thick limestone ledge,
shaking off the wet like unmannered mutts.
The fish left behind: our lamented legends.
We settled on the dirt floor
and witnessed the spitting hardness
play rough with leaves and limbs,
ricochet off standing rocks.
Fear latched onto our senses
like an unwanted diagnosis.
Suddenly a deafening deluge
of backed up water surged over
the rock ledge trapping us behind.
The waterfall so unexpected
we could do nothing but marvel
at the dazzling miracle before us.  

When I heard you were gone,
I wandered for awhile
in that time wrinkle:
your eyes crazy with wonder,
your laughter cascading.    

Hanging from a dragonfly hook on the wall
like a bunch of grapes ready to be picked
are the masks I’ve worn for over a year.

I think I’ll miss them. 

They were nice in the winter when they 
kept my face warmer than any scarf could.
The way I could express myself through their
colors and patterns. 

But I think I’ll miss them most for how they
sheilded my emotions from the outside world. 
I show everything on my face: my mother has told me. 
My disgust
My envy
My fear
My happiness
My confusion…

Yes, I will miss the masks. 
Even if I won’t miss the virus they protected us from.  

There once was an avid complainer.
She could explain plainer
all your wrongdoings,
guilts, terrible choosings,
though she’s all perfect, don’t blame her.

That begonia
Loud in the late
Afternoon sun
Even as its petals
Begin to silently fall

pandemic over
the homeless reappear
on the courthouse square

Clouds drift over, dream-like
lush richness in the sway of the palms
undercurrent of mourning doves.
The very air seems to call for a rum drink
with a tiny umbrella.  Hemingway breathes
in the wings.

And wouldn’t you know, everyday
at 5:00, at the library next door,
the cat lady with a plastic sheet
to kneel on, brings food
and water for the multitude
of waiting cats, tabbies and calicos,
black and white.

And we wonder what she does
when she’s not feeding cats,
she of the long gray braids,
flowered skirt skimming
her ankles, jangling silver bracelets.
Work in the library?
Care for the pet parrot
which sometimes rides
on her shoulder?  She could
hardly be separated
from the scene without ripping
the fabric.

If you were to count the number of my cells, more would be bacterial than human.

backing down–
that’s my go-to
done it for years
became a habit
others noticed–
took advantage
laughter in their eyes
claws instead of fingertips
the more you let them away with
the further down they push you
lose your footing, falling back
into the mud and shit
covered, head to toe
try to get back up,
you slip
knew all this–
backed down anyway
turning the other cheek 
and all that
mastered backing up, too
minimizing the direct assault
by putting distance between
my muddy self and them
also learned to back out–
texting is great for canceling–
not showing up gives 
a certain satisfaction
but, perhaps, it is past time
i cleared the board–reset
my default position
throw some others in the
fucking mud for a change
smear it in their faces
they deserve it–
truly, they do
but, you know what
that ain’t me
not going to do it
they can knock me off my feet
a million billion times,
in time, i will rise,
dust off my denims,
and keep going
that, as far as i am concerned
makes me the winner.

What if you were my destiny?

And what if I missed you?

And I’ll never know

how good it feels to kiss you?

What if you were my soulmate?

And love passed us by?

And I’ll miss you forever

until the day I die?

What if you were the one

specially chosen for me?

What if you and I

were supposed to be?

I wish I’d known I love you

when you were still here,

someone so precious,

someone so dear.

I wish I’d asked you

out on a date.

I wish it wasn’t

already too late.

I hope you got

everything you deserve.

Someone to love you,

a lover with curves.

Someone to make sweet love

every night to you.

I wish I could be that one

and find out if it’s true.

What if you were my love

and I found out too late?

Why was I so shy?

Why did I wait?

When I came out,

you were my first fantasy.

I wish you’d come back,

back here with me.

Memories of you

swirl in my head.

Dreams of you laying

here in my bed.

You were everything

I ever wanted.

Now my heart

feels lonely and haunted.

I miss the times

we never had.

I let you fade.

Now I want you so bad.

I’d do anything,

I’d go anywhere,

to kiss your lips,

run my hands through your hair.

I’d love you fully.

I’d love you right.

Give you sweet kisses

every single night.

I’d be your girl.

I’d be your guy.

I’d give you wings,

help you to fly.

What if you

were meant to be mine

forever and ever

‘til the end of time?

What if we messed up?

What if you’re gone?

What if I turned something so right

into something so wrong?

I wish I could go back

and see you again,

see if we’re something

more than just friends.

What if we lost decades

because of my hesitation?

And I’ll live forever

with this frustration?

My lonely heart calls you.

Please come back to me.

Please come and save me.

Not having you is misery.

But there is no answer,

no call on the phone.

And so I’ll wait here

for you all alone.