People never complain
about your tools
laying around
when you are fixing
for
free
something
they broke
themselves
out of neglect
They will
weave a tale
of a child wandering by
finding something I left
and harming themselves
Without fail
Instead of looking
just for a moment at
what is broken
within themselves
which is also free to do
But don’t mind me
I’m just fixing things
Some time before Stephen Hawking
came up with his voice synthesizer
most students only heard
ur um ahr ur but Sudir already
understood much of it.
Sudhir arrived at his new job
and warned the physics chair
Don’t assign the freshman physics students
to me; they will be so shocked
at my Indian speech that they
will never persevere.
These days he often talks
to the alley cats in Bengali.
They persevere.
Ode to one-yank weeds, the maple seedling
still winged at its roots,
the unmighty oak,
the violet in spring-wet dirt
above its bundle of tubers,
even the young dandelion, eager to please.
Sometimes it’s okay to be easy.
All those seasons of digging to the hard knot
of why I would never be we,
the taproot of loneliness buried in heavy clay.
And then came you, released
into my life as if you had been planted there.
Or was it me let loose of rocky soil?
Of course, marriage is not that simple.
Later, all those broken mattocks,
that wilderness of honeysuckle in our first backyard,
the rose mallow I planted that almost took over the garden.
But you and I once plucked, remain transplanted.
Your roots to mine.
What’s the best way
to saturate the color
of rocks?
The photographer
talks about Adobe,
the gardener
fetches a hose.
If i ran into you today
I don’t think i would know
What to do with myself
The thought of even seeing you
Makes my palms itch
And my knees shake
Even when we were together
You always made me feel
Like a dog with its tail
Between its legs
Frightened, but in a way
You can feed off of
Now that you’ve left me
Outside in the roaring rain
My whole body has matted together
As i’ve spent hundreds of days
Waiting for you to open
Up the back door
Yet i know if you did
You wouldnt dry me off
You would scold me
For being so naïve
To think you would never
Kick me when i’m down
If i ran into you today
I don’tbthink i would know
What to do with myself
I think if you held out your fist
To shove me away once more
I would sigh in relief
Because you would finally be
Connected with me
One last time
You walk beside me
everywhere I go.
We haven’t met yet
but you’re already in my heart.
I think about you all the time,
how wonderful you are.
I feel you hold me in my sleep.
I talk to you in the car.
I feel your love already
and I’ve never even seen you.
You walk beside me,
giving me courage and strength.
You help me become the person
I’m supposed to be.
I’m in love with your essence,
your aura,
this feeling of being close to you.
The thought of you
carries me through bad days.
I share my joys with you
and everything seems right.
You walk beside me.
I can’t see you
but I know that you’re real,
that your love is already in my life,
that you’re already helping me.
You comfort me when I am sad or scared,
the way you will in person
some day.
I love you for everything
we’re going to be
together.
You walk beside me
until the day we walk hand in hand.
I asked my son
I found you in a book, then,
through eyes of fiction,
considered your gaze,
in halls, downstairs,
scent of blush soft blue, lured,
It was all heat, a bonfire I kept sticking my hands,
The weight hidden for character, opening,
a space for others to move about,
in this delicate dream, but still
a rise of grass pressed against my back,
I found you, in the dark hidden by vines
remaining for eternity
a violet and a crow on a barrow.
Releases green & sunlight storm & petrichor
pussy willow bud & crocus head
the fuzzy the violet
the hidden
Opens hills & builds nests & kisses bees
into action emits lilac & stiffens
leaves’ resolve
Its loam calls us
& those with soil for feet
whorls for knees trunks for torso branches
for necks
moss for tress moons for eyes
we answer with spade & amble & fingertips
touching twig & earthworm we bow with hydrangea
heads dazed by swelling tides of swallowtails
& moon petals.
side a.]
eye of a bird, camel lashes
grapefruit around the jaw
cherry at the cheekbone
skin melts off once an hour
strawberry seeds
should glow pink, glows green
swollen ear piercing
side b.]
valley under the eye
eyebrows like cherub arrows
thin lip, thick lip
tears and wax and
scar down the bird beak
geometrical chin
so much hair, people say
