Pain
I have witnessed and experienced many kinds of pain
physical pain
emotional pain
the pain of grief
the pain of loss of many different things
but I think the hardest kind of pain to deal with is
pain experienced by someone you love
It’s time to open up my veins again;
cut through the Pollock of my thoughts
so I can get to the truth.
I push the people I love away
I’m afraid of taking off the mask.
Afraid of wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Afraid of exposing anything vulenerable because
I’m convinced they’ll leave.
So I make them leave.
I distance, I lie, I ignore.
So they have no choice and I reaffirm my fear.
Only, it’s all subconsciously.
I don’t realize I distance,
I don’t understand why I lie,
I don’t notice I ignore.
So how do I cut through the bullshit?
How do I hold the ones I love close?
How do I offer up my heart when it’s still bleeding?
sitting in a room
with two women
that have known
each other
for so long
but lived an
ocean apart
I’m ignorant
to all the details
but looking
at their faces
and how they
look at a room
there was a lot
they each
had to go through
alone
watching them now
laugh at a table
over small town
Italian food
while their kids
are worn out
draped across
the couches
no fear of violence
blank stares
soaking up screens
I know
there’s nothing
at that moment
that could be more
filling
The air smells warm
And a thousand lighting bugs surround me
I get up early and get home late,
I worry that summer is fading quickly
Something about this season,
Makes me feel so alive
To spend my entire day outside,
To feel like a kid again with no priorities
Dear summer, please slow down
The heat lays across the state like a blanket
and I hide indoors. It’s better this way
when even the birds reserve their song.
If only I could unset the thermometer
and control the thermostat of the planet
like a great cosmic daddy in his grubby clothes,
I’d turn the thing down, bill be dammed.
Blue
White
Go Big Blue
Big Blue Nation
Blue, White
Fight, fight, fight!
Fans crowd into Rupp Arena
Ready to cheer on their Cats
To victory
SEC Championship
Regional Championship
Final Four Appearance
NCAA Championship #9
All come to each game
To get a glimpse of the Big Blue Wild Cat Dynasty
The Kentucky Wildcats
Blue
White
Go Big Blue
Big Blue Nation
Blue, White
Fight, fight, fight!
We are UK
My Dear “Adam”, as you once requested,
Without suspicion
as you slept at heaven’s door
I reshaped nature
in the darkest night
electricity’s embrace
stirred your tender heart
as your brain concurred
you became my greatest Art
and then you awoke
trapped in a dark dream
there’s no undoing what’s done,
I do have my regrets
because I’m to blame
you live in your loneliness,
must hide far away
when I think of you
I call myself a monster
do you ever dream
do you imagine
what is it to be human
I long to see you
again we will meet
now my carriage has arrived
I will write again,
With a tortured heart,
May this letter sooth your soul,
Victor Frankenstein
Fireworks bloom in twilight fields,
petals wilting in fizzling sparks
that blink like pixies
and fade into dawning dusk.
Where did it go? Where did I go?
Where do we go when we’re lost and lonely
Fallen dreams you were certain were there
Then gone, lost
Lost in a crash
Totally smashed
Undriveable
Walk away, walk away
There’s the process of forgetting
Letting it go, moving on
Not always that easy
Was the dream as big as you
Could you fit in the driver’s seat
Handle all the gears
Turn the steering wheel
Who is steering anyway
Was it the passengers
Obnoxious back-seat drivers
Arguing for control of your destination
Whatever it was
I know you were there
Attempts were made
You were big enough
Strong enough, bright enough
Now, this time, know better
We are ready
We can dream, we can try again
