beauty
asks us to notice,
question,
engage with imagination,
create
vibrations
to unfold darkness,
translate it into
Kindness
He comes in from mowing.
We have a problem.
Houston we have a problem.
What could it be?
We need a new roof?
The lawnmower is toast?
Our house is halfway down a sinkhole?
There are two baby rabbits living under the shed.
Eee gads!
There are two baby rabbits living under the shed.
Houston, I have a husband
worried about his garden.
It was so last minute
an unexpected suprise
We both though it be
Another promise
To fall through like
A rusted floorboard
We knew all too well
From a disant past
You too little to remember
But instead
Here we are
Music thrumming
At a high frequency
“Core Memory” I hear replaying
From your voice
His voice
The look on
Your “other dad’s” face
And then your REAL dad
Who does all the work
Our tour guide from home
Who should be here
But chose
To do the work
Gave us the love
To be here
Because we are here
In this moment
You’re beautiful
All Mine
And it’s bittersweet
Here and gone
We need a few more
Added to this collection
Of moments
I hope you remember this
Forever and Always
More and most
And ever
Amen
Look me in the eye, again!
Now, say what you said,
“I don’t want to be
where everyone’s been.”
Maybe if you would have
monitored your child’s gram
he would still be here.
Too, busy judging women.
A boy hanging himself in a closet
could have been a sexual solo act.
You’d rather speculate on the unseen
than the tragic thing you can’t unsee.
Dotdot stands statue still,
a tortie gargoyle, stone-pawed atop
the softness of my hip, she
guards against those encroaching madnesses I
cannot see yet I
feel the creeping approach in my bones, my
fascia, my tender places, she
mean mugs into darkness, she
waits out
the choked sobs,
the agonized breaths, the
memories and
when my lungs remember the
rhythm of recovery she
leaps to find the nudge of my hand her
single concession for cuddles in
these moments, I am completely hers and
held
Morning between stone walls
months after turned rat
myself and other guardsman
met an odd character
meddling in our trajectory
Percival, at your service
pale guards turn and gawk
prospecting over, sizing up their mark
pejorative stares provoke inevitable tension
pointed tools extend instead of open hands
Debana kote
Daedalus shrinks away
dim-lit corridor washed red in horror
drawn blade of Perc directs Daedalus to retreat
do you feel safer in his new kingdom than here
Written report submitted for review
why would a brigand spare an architect
what is the reason for revealing himself
was this just another test of obedience
will I become another dead-end trial
it doesn’t matter
how long
you were in
my life
all that matters
is that
you were there
I can pretend
I knew you
but I didn’t
and
you are gone
took more
than I thought
I had given
a whisper
of a dead future
Fear creeps up behind me,
squeezing my lungs, tightening its grip with each stifled breath I take.
Panic arrives in one of its unpredictable cycles
Impossible to chart like the moon and the tides
it arrives like an unknown guest and overstays its welcome
only I don’t recall sending an invitation or opening the door to invite it in.
Counting breaths and focusing on a tiny paint drip from when I painted the room last year
I swear I’ll sand and smooth to an antique finish as soon as this violent episode passes
The walls know it’s a promise I’ll continue to repeat
Their anger punches me through imagined laughter as they close in on me faster
I try to pry fear’s grip and slide myself to the floor–
I need to touch something real.
I fall backwards and watch the ceiling drop like a free-falling elevator
All I can do is croak, “How did I get here?” and close my eyes just before it hits
—— Blackout______
The darkness cradles my razor thin concentration.
Silence falls around me
and I don’t remember where I put the sandpaper.
