Posts for June 10, 2023 (page 4)

The shifting of light across the surface of any lake,   
deer carrying their vulnerable bodies with such dignity,  
monarchs weighing down each cluster of goldenrod    
there where the sky is knitted to the field,  
a huge moth, white-winged, full of grace,  
blackbirds flying through wind-driven snow   
in a kind of trance,   
fire curling toward me, wood smoke, 
the musty-ripe smells of the marsh,  
the memory of lilacs.  

Sounds that seemed to be the shape of the trees themselves,   
the forest with its wing sounds,  
a brook loosening from April,    
its gravelly soft-talk   
a piano casting its notes,  
the chords of music arriving in my ear,  
the distance ringing with bells, 
someone calling from a rooftop,  
children, voices overlapping   
saying who knows what. 
The world’s all sound, the lulling tongues.   

A wave from a doorway,  
waving from the dock as the ferry pulled out,  
the satin of water  
dahlias bending under the rain,  
to lean against the trees,  
seduction, the solace of his body  
whose name fills my mouth,  
the suitcases of the heart, 
losing ourselves in truth and beauty,  
a wild surrender.   

The oiled tarp of night
when the river darkens—wild silver to black,  
trees transformed into silhouettes,  
the weight of shadows,   
ones’ weight in my pockets. 
Memory, an unopened closet, a red ribbon:  
the love of books,  
the mythology we recite against the dark, 
my shadowy dream world, 
more than I can imagine.    

I believe in questions, 
a feeling of usefulness,   
the door to the room beyond this room   
where all that has happened can fall away,
the hanging gardens of the wind,
the body wants to be lifted.  
I believe everything’s connected,  
everything’s a paradox. 
Let us dance together down the dark sand  
of blue brokenness,  
waiting for something to arrive.  
Love is the mouth and the cry that comes out of it— 
the map of this world.          

An ethereal mist 

There are no answers. 

We all stumble along feeling with our fingers.

One can only practice life

moment by moment.

In response to Amy Richardson’s poem 

Between Youth and Old Age

The stars above St. George Island
rise over the gulf of Mexico
and whisper that we are not
so important, such little specks
in a vast universe.

The girl running the game
at the carnival
sucks on a popsicle
and gazes out into the distance.

Somewhere, in our DNA
or in the blood we hail as life,
we remember our beginnings.

There is beauty
in the imperfect pictures,
in the rough, blurry
outlines of life.

There is more than one hammer
to test your strength,
more than one way
to win a bear.

Find myself finding solace among the shadows tonight

As they dance amidst various flashes of lights

Dancing on the walls on outsides and insides of houseS
Dancing with the happy souls of spouses

Every shadow, every light, every turn, every sight
Heaviest, incessant reminders

Of what I don’t get to relish in again

Recalling the first time we danced
With no music, only the rhythm of our hearts; entranced
Racing at the excitement of what could and would be

Only a sentiment now, far from reality

Oh. What I’d give for my shadow to simply be next to yours

Pretend for another moment, of a life we remain aboard

Even the most still and droopy shadows I envy 
Because they appeared intertwined and not lonely

Sitting now, in not what I’d call silence,
Ruminating on what we built, that I called an alliance

Replaying and retracing every step I learned you 
Recalling how you and me became a furious “we”

As I play this story out, I become further confused Consumed with the pieces that fueled each step of doubt

Now I shake my head furiously, as if my  minds is an etch-a-Sketch 
Knowing I’ll still lurk curiously, draw to the story that never was

His head came up out of the hole
in the school basement,
where I had descended,
lost, searching the whole place
for my eighth-grade classroom,
the graduation long over,
the summer begun without me,
teachers long gone.
                                     And so in the basement
the small boy led me through a friendly tunnel,
to explored depths unexpected,
discoveries waiting
when I awoke.

I let smoke smoke fill my lungs,
and then I chase it out with a stiff drink.
Hoping that the combination will rid me of all my guilt and misery.

But as the night progresses,
Things turn inside of me.
Reminding me
That everything that torments me
Is under lock and key
Welled up inside of me.

With an eagerness to keep it in,
I’ll drink and smoke again.

But I always take it too far.

This day, I’m through with dreams. I want
to wake as just a point of light, my mind as still

as a bud still tight on the branch.  Let me
be through with want, that blaze that calls me

more than need, through with rage and blue
and dark.  Blank chill of dawn, I want a blank,

oh let me hear the lilt of light as it moves on. 
Let be, let be be more than seem, let words

be still.  Oh, this bright day, I wake, I sing,
I’m through (I think) with dreams.

“Do you think the dictionary ever says to itself I’ve got these words that mean completely different things inside myself and it’s tearing me apart?”  – Dean Young “Selected Recent and New Errors”                                

Aa   A: word’s a bridge between worlds; a dictionary   abbreviates: represents the full   alphabet: in the order fixed by custom. Elementary principles of   altitude: above sea level, above the horizon, a high position or rank   aroma: characteristic odor of an   ass: chiefly British.                            

Bb   Bat: a stout wooden stick, having membraneous wings, to wink at a   boy: male child, informal fellow, mild exclamation   break: crack, pierce, or penetrate, escape from   bright: shining dyestuff full of promise, intelligent   bulb: stem of the onion or tulip, incandescent.  

Cc   Call: cry out, summon, label   call girl: hired by telephone   cheap: worth more than the price   cherub: angel with a chubby, rosy face.                      

Dd   Deliver: from evil, give birth, utter, secure votes for   Democratic-Republican Party: founded by Thomas Jefferson   dues: payable immediately for membership in   dusky: dark, gloomy   dyad: divalent atom or radical pair.                            

Ee   Echo: in imitation of a sympathetic response   eddying: against the main current, as in   education: the act or the field of   electromagnets: with a current-carrying   enginery: machinery or instruments of   English: the spin given with a sharp twist.                            

Ff   Feel: touch with caution, guided by fire: that releases heat or light   flick: a quick touch or motion picture   flop: plop, flap   flush: from fever, embarrassment, rapid gush.                

Gg   Gather: into one place, apprehend, attract   glares: angry stares, intense and blinding   guided missiles: also called robot bombs   gushes: of tears   gusts: of rage.                            

Hh   Heretics: dissent from the dogma of the   hive: a place swarming with   honeyed: ingratiating, sugary, dulcet   horseshit: vulgar nonessential nonsense.                            

Ii   I: elliptically understood   identify: with another or   imagine: picture   incandescence: a hot object.                                

Jj   Jack: an ordinary man, a sailor   jaded: wearied, spiritless, not sated, in   jams: fetches his instrument   jangling: with little bells, the mingled din of voices   jilted: abruptly rejected.                            

Kk   Kisses: brushes against lips, chocolate confections   kneejerk: sudden, involuntary   Kyrie eleisons: prayers with musical settings, Supreme Authority show mercy.                        

Ll Larvae: wingless, wormlike before metamorphosis   living: currently active    loving: experiencing desire or tenderness.                            

Mm   Mania: intense desire or enthusiasm, rapidly changing ideas and   meaningful: significant   meaninglessness: senseless   music: sounds, aesthetically pleasing.                      

Nn   News: unusual or notable, previously unknown   nocturnal: flowers open the night as certain animals   nose: find out by smell, nuzzle, sniff in a meddlesome way.                            

Oo   O: in poetry and prayer, variant of   oh: used to express surprise, fear, anger, pain, or   OH: Ohio, state of the United States, Iroquois ohiyo, “grand river.”                            

Pp   Peter: the Hermit preacher, the first   piper: plays on a pipe, installs plumbing   picks: a tune on his guitar, a pointed instrument, with a   pepper: to season to make lively and vivid.

Qq   Queens: chess pieces able to move in any direction, fertile bees   quivering: shaking, trembling, vibrating.                          

Rr Remember: to think again of the faculty   reports: formal accounts or gossip, explosive noises   researched: studied to seek out, to search again   revenge: to inflict punishment, avenge   rhythms: of the tides, of the heart, beat heavy stress.                            

Ss   Save: from the wages of   scholarship: awarded to a student by a   school: a large group swimming together   screwing: making a mess of sexual intercourse, screw threads coiling like a sow’s tail.                        

Tt   Tap: a rap with rhythm, a light click or blow   this: thing nearby in space, time, or thought   thread: twisted together, to wind through a course   threatened: as dark skies threaten rain.                            

Uu   Ugliness: repulsive, reprehensible, ominous   unblinking: without emotions   unblushing: without shame   unbound: freed from shackles, released   upward: toward a higher place   upwind: from which the wind blows.                            

Vv   Vagabond: roaming tramp   vamps: improvises tunes, seduces in the manner of a   vampire: reanimated at night to suck   vernal: fresh, young   virgins: in a pure or natural state, not processed or refined.                      

Ww   Wait: in one spot until   whatever: you wish for blows across whatever you   wonder: feeling curiosity or awe at the   world: in motion.                            

Xx   X: the signature of an illiterate person   xenophobic: unduly fearful of strangers, as reflected in   Xeroxes: copies made to reproduce   x-rated: explicit   x-rays: exact nature not known.                            

Yy   Yammer: for change in a clamorous tone   yawp: utter a sharp bark   yeah: yeah yeah   yelp: in pain or surprise   yowl: howl, wail.                            

Zz   Zany: extravagant outlandish strangeness   zaps: with heavy firepower, strafes or bombards a   zebra: wild ass   Zen: enlightenment attained through   zeugma: for example The businessman left in high spirits and a Cadillac   zig-zagging: in alternating directions, such sharp turns.

I. Bound
Right now
old times open
a halo
baiting. Recall
a straight line
straight jacket.

II. Breezy
Right now
old times open
70’s pantone
amnesty. Flashback
a curvilinear 
pier.