Dying has never really been an option for me

As much as my younger self wished it be true

I couldn’t ever do it

Not with the way that life chooses me every morning

My breath – gasping, chasing fulfillment

My heart racing even before my morning coffee

Steaks of sunshine peering through my blinds

Nor the way that life shows up for me

Surrounded by community and love and safety, floating

Joy filling my gut to the brim, my head fuzzy and soft

Laughter bubbling out of my mouth, a warm light

Nor the way life lifts me like a balloon

Singing at the top of my lungs

With my arm out the window of my car

Hair tossed and flapping in the cool wind

How could I ever not be here?

How could I ever not experience this?

How could I ever deny life from experiencing itself in me?

How glad I am to stand here now and be able to say

I made it