Feed people who are hungry, but only the white kind of people.

Give drink to those who are thirsty, if they have three professional references. 

Clothe people who need clothes, by donating clothes to stores that sell clothes to people who have money to buy clothes with. 

Visit prisoners, unless, you know, they did something like really bad.

Visit people who are sick, and make sure to go live on Insta when you do.

Bury people who have died, but expect people to mourn on the clock.

Whatever you do, for God’s sake, save your receipts for tax time,
you’ll thank me later.