Dennis Rodman has high expectations
for his trip to North Korea.
Financed by a marijuana banking service
he looks to use his friendship with Kim Jong Un
(big basketball fan)
to open up this piece of the Asian market.
It would be nice to see the Supreme Leader
mellow out a little from time to time.
Maybe go on an Oreo binge.
Extra Crispy Beijing Duck, whatever.
So far there has been no official statement
from the White House
that Rodman has been, is now, or ever will be,
the first US Ambassador to NK.
Keeper: Don’t be too confident he will not be.
In similar news, human spontaneous combustion,
a mysterious, controversial,
and much derided phenomenon,
has been substantially cleared up.
Bodies have been found
charred to only muscle and bone,
leaving cloths and furniture intact
around them. Research has now shown
that body fat can act as a wick
carrying fire (once started) through the body
burning nothing but fat.
Keeper: don’t try to get rid of your belly
by setting the fat on fire.
is hundreds of times more infectious
than American scabies
and it has a predilection for genitals.
Keeper; regardless of how tall and blond
and generally incredibly attractive,
look a Norwegian over carefully
before engaging in intimate contact.
That’s all for now. Feel free to send me your keepers.