From work straight to church
leaves me plenty of time
to sit reflective in the sanctuary,
a grace long denied.
Tears gather in my eyes
as divine love spills into my heart.
Peace pervades the pandemic induced walls
completely disrupting our lives.
God, how I miss the normal things
like the hymn books and the hymns,
the congregations joining hands in prayer,
people mingling after the service
but most of all, I’ve missed this chance
to sit in Your Holy presence
as I do this beautiful evening,
letting myself be Your child again.
Today marks one year
since a challenge to pray a rosary
every day for a week straight,
since I hadn’t said one in years.
This sparked an explosion of faith
with showers of wisdom
as I came more fully into who I am;
a disciple of Christ.
It was a tumultuous year.
You know all the nasty devils
that stood in the way of happiness,
how I had to rely on You for survival
and I will never forget
the way you saw me through those wars,
dressing my wounded spirit
when people inevitably failed.
God, you never stopped fighting beside me.
Armies of saints and angels
became my shelter against the hurricanes
that surely would have destroyed the old me.
When depression came crushing
and anxieties paralyzed me
and fear threatened to take all the light away,
You provided the courage to stand strong.
But out of all the blessings,
You, of course, saved the best for last
when I would need her most.
I promise to always love her the same way You do.
All of this flows through my mind
and with my sanctuary tears.
I have absolutely nothing to be afraid of
for my God has already won all of my wars.