Each year I mark you

with the hope that this time of the year

will become less awkward

instead of less defined.

I awoke this morning

after the actual passing of the earth

nauseated with myself,

afflicted with sore muscles, throat, and tongue

from staying alive when my body wished otherwise

and the feeling that I failed you yet again. 

Telling you that the last few weeks

have tired me more than the rest of the year

does little to assuage my guilt

and does more to remind me

of my place in our dynamic.

Behind, very behind, and too behind

are words I know too well,

yet knowing the world continues clicking

through its resolute phases, on to the next,

despite forced shortcomings of humans below

does convince me that these fumbles will not derail 

the rest of the world so I can heal.

So I may stumble through the rest of summer,

but I recognize the ones who have brought me here

and hope that I will build greater bonds 

as we start the shift towards longer nights.